Shama Hyder:

It’s true what they say, your first million is the hardest. It’s much easier to make the second and the third because you can build on it, right? Compounding interest is very real. But your first million is challenging, especially if you start from nothing. So when I started Zen Media, I started it with $1,500 and I was 22 years old, 23, didn’t know anything about the business world. And it was a lot of learning quickly. It’s not the money that’s the exciting part at the end of the day. It’s who you become on that journey. As cliche as it sounds, it’s really important because to make a million dollars and as good as it felt, much better was looking back and seeing, wow, really having developed a lot of skills because to go from zero to a million or even 1500 bucks to a million requires a lot.

Shama Hyder:

Hey, everybody. It’s Shama Hyder. And today, I want to talk about a topic that comes up often oddly enough, especially from young people. So when I keynoted in the past at schools and so forth, someone in the audience inevitably will ask, “Have you made your first million? Or “What’s it like making your first million?” And it’s true, I made my first million by the time I was 25 and it was something I never thought I would achieve or even expected to achieve because I came to this country when I was nine years old. I was an immigrant. My parents were both blue collar workers. It was beyond my wildest dreams. And there’s certain things I’ve learned along the way. And it’s funny because I think that it’s true what they say, your first million is the hardest. It’s much easier to make the second and the third, because you can build on it, right? Compounding interest is very real.

Shama Hyder:

But your first million is challenging, especially if you start from nothing. So when I started Zen Media, I started it with $1,500. Some of you might have read that story or heard me talk about it in other venues. I started with $1,500 and I was 22 years old, 23, didn’t know anything about the business world. And it was a lot of learning very quickly. And what I find interesting is I talked to other people who also ever met that threshold is that it’s not the money that’s the exciting part at the end of the day. It’s who you become on that journey. As cliche as it sounds, it’s really important because to make a million dollars in an ethical, fair way, now there’s lots of new scam ways. There’s lot of illegal. I’m not talking about any of that.

Shama Hyder:

I’m talking about legit, good, honest, hard work, building it brick by brick, bone by bone, tears, sweat, all of it, to building a business. And so when you were doing it that way, which entrepreneurship to me is so much fun and you’re starting from nothing. So I went from nothing when I was 22, 23 to a million dollars at 25, and in fact, Business Week at that year named me one of the Top 25 Under 25 Entrepreneurs in North America. It was quite an exciting moment, but we’ll save that story for another time and I’ll share with you guys if you’d like to hear it about our tipping point. But getting that first million, as good as it felt, much better was looking back and seeing, wow, really having developed a lot of skills.

Shama Hyder:

Because to go from zero to a million or even 1500 bucks to a million requires a lot. You’ve got to learn how to communicate, how to negotiate, how to sell, how to provide value, because when you’re doing it in an ethical, solid way, and you’re wanting to run a legit enterprise, the key thing you have to realize is your value is completely dependent on the value that you add to other people, right? I’m going to repeat this because it’s so important. If you want to be a millionaire or you have any kind of goal, the value that the market puts on you as a business, as someone offering a service, is in direct correlation to the value that you bring to the marketplace. All right.

Shama Hyder:

So another way to think about this is I had to create $10 million worth of value, at least for the market to think that I, my business, was worth a million dollars. Let that sink in for a second because I think it’s important. I had to add $10 million worth of value to the marketplace. It helped other businesses make that much, if not more. But really, add that much value. When you add that much value, the market rewards you, right? The market rewards you, but you getting a percentage of the value that you’ve created. So if I went into a business and said, “Listen, you guys are doing 10 million of revenue a year. I think with these cool strategies and really enhancing your digital, you could be doing 50 million.” Right? Would that be exciting? And what do you think most companies say, “Yes, that’d be great. That would be amazing growth. We’d love to go from 10 to 50 million.”

Shama Hyder:

And so when you’re doing things like that, it’s only natural then for your market to reward you based on the value that you bring to the table. And so this is actually called… Yeah, this is really this idea around… And Alan Weiss coined it a while back in his consulting work, value-based selling, but it really applies here too because it gets to the heart of… The amount you charge is directly proportional to the value that you bring. And I want to say that again, the amount you charge, the amount someone pays you should be in direct proportion to the value that you bring. And so obviously, when you’re working at a greater scale and you can create more value, you get paid more.

Shama Hyder:

This is the funny thing. People think being a millionaire is all about creating something and getting it out there. You really have to keep supplying demand in mind too. There has to be a demand for what you’re offering and then you have to make your supply. So you have to make your offering so exciting that it stands out in suppliers. A great book I like which I recommend highly is Blue Ocean Strategy, which really talks about how you construct your own blue ocean. So in a red ocean, there’s lots of sharks, right? So think about when I started Zen Media, we were doing digital marketing, PR, new media. The sharks were advertising agencies. That’s the red ocean. It’s already very crowded. If I came out and said, “I’m going to start another advertising agency.” There’s too much supply there. And then yes, there’s demand but it’s very competitive.

Shama Hyder:

What I did when I entered the market, was I created something new, right? Zen Media was one of the first social media agencies out there. It just didn’t exist quite yet. I did my thesis on Twitter when it had 2000 people. So very, very early days. And you guys can follow me @Shama on Twitter. And in case you’re wondering, that’s how I have my first name as my Twittering handle is because I was one of the earliest users. And so creating that sort of blue ocean, creating value where it doesn’t exist. So to go to our companies, go to clients or customers and say, “Hey, we can help you in this realm. Right? We can help you with your digital.”

Shama Hyder:

In a time where really nobody was doing it, or didn’t fully understand it, we were the first to really make a dent in that space. And hence, the market rewarded us accordingly. So I will just reiterate, it’s not about the amount of money. I also think that it’s important to have a why, the why you want to get there. For me, I never thought about like a set a goal like, “Oh, I need to get to a million.” I think it was happening. It was really cool, but it was a byproduct. When you do have a goal, I think it’s important to make sure that you understanding your motivating factors and you’re motivated by something that’s deeper than impressing people.

Shama Hyder:

I was talking to a young man last week, who is starting a new company, is very excited about it. And one of the questions he kept asking me as we were discussing this was, “How quickly can I monetize this? How quickly can I make money?” And I said, “Do you mind me asking why it is that you want to make money so quickly, you want to jump to the end zone so quickly? And he said, “Well, so I can show my parents that this can be a success and that they won’t force me to go to college.” And I thought, “Well, isn’t that interesting?” It’s very hard to accomplish what you want to accomplish when it’s predicated on showing someone something, when the whole point of his accomplishment was to show his parents, to prove something to someone else. I don’t find that that has enough staying power to get you to your goals.

Shama Hyder:

And here’s the funny thing, even if he accomplishes this, let’s say he shows his parents this, or whoever he wants to impress, it’s very likely that they could turn around and say, “Ah, yes, but can you sustain it for five years?” “Ah, but this is still a fad.” I mean there are people out there who still think the internet is a fad. They think social media is a fad. There’s all sorts of people who believe all sorts of things.

Shama Hyder:

And I find that rather than trying to change people’s beliefs, it’s much better to stay in your lane to do your best and to prioritize sort of your own goals, your own happiness, not to the detriment of others, but to be really motivated by what you want for why you want it, right? To perhaps serve society, to maybe give back to your community. Whatever it is, I find that that kind of motivation helps you get success in the millions, if that’s what you want, a heck a lot easier. All right, guys. Hope you enjoyed this. Check out a ton more videos over here. I’ve been creating a lot more content for you. Hope you enjoy it. Leave me a comment or a question if you have one and don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks so much for watching.

Shama Hyder:

Hey everybody. It’s Shama Hyder here and I’m joined by my dog, so he might be in and out of this video.

Shama Hyder:

This is Koda Bear, he has interrupted our filming. Ow, Koda. Koda is a Samoyed puppy. They’re also called Sammies and he is 10 weeks old. Say hi. Say hi, Koda. Why are you interrupting mommy? Mommy’s trying to film. Mommy’s trying to film, that’s right. Hello.

Shama Hyder:

Can you wave a paw, good boy? Ow, that hurts. Ouch. Owie, owie. Puppy kisses.

Shama Hyder:

Let’s talk about advice. That’s right, the importance of asking for advice, but more importantly, how important it is to get your advice from the right sources. So, last week I was talking to a young woman who started her business recently, and she’s found that her mom has had a lot of advice to give her. I talked to her and I said, “Well, does your mom run a business?” She said, “No, my mom’s been an employee, she’s rather risk-averse. My mom’s very happy, she has lots of hobbies, but she’s never been entrepreneurial.” Nothing wrong with that, great.

Shama Hyder:

As I’m talking to her, I asked her, “What are your other hobbies?” She said, “Well, I love to bake,” which is great. I got to talking with her and she said this was another passion she shared with her mother. She also told me, along the conversations we’re having, that she was very close to her father as well. I asked her, “Is your dad a baker?” She said, “No, he doesn’t bake at all. He has zero interest in being in the kitchen or baking.” I said, “Okay, well, that’s interesting.”

Shama Hyder:

Then I said, “Let me ask you something. Do you ever bake and do you ever run across a substitution question?” We’ve all been there. Can you substitute baking powder for something else? Or do I really need this to be unsweetened or can I use bittersweet chocolate? So when you’re baking or you’re cooking, oftentimes these questions come up and I said, “Well, so then you obviously called your dad, right, for advice.” She said, “Oh, well, I would never do that. My dad doesn’t know anything about baking, he’s never baked, so he couldn’t possibly help me, even if he wanted to.”

Shama Hyder:

Huh? Well, let’s think about that for a second. This is what I put forth out to her. If you wouldn’t go to your dad with a baking question because he is not a baker, why would you then go to your mom with entrepreneurial questions when she’s not a business owner or entrepreneur? Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with getting feedback or opinions if you enjoy that. If you want to use people that you’re close to and you like bouncing ideas off of folks, great. But just know that when you ask for advice from people, they are going to give you advice from their own lens, right? Everyone has their own unique lens of looking at the world.

Shama Hyder:

If you ask advice from someone who has never owned a business, who’s never operated a business, whose paradigm is one of safety and security, again, nothing wrong with that, but that’s their paradigm. They prioritize safety and security over many other things. That isn’t ideal for when you are starting a business, what you really want is advice from someone who’s been there, done that, right?

Shama Hyder:

It’s nice, I think, sometimes to get advice where we feel like … two things happen when you’re asking for advice. One, you often go to your closest source. So oftentimes that happens to be family or friends, and so we turn to them because we feel a certain comfort level and we say, “Hey, you’re close.” It’s proximity. So we often gather advice through proximity, which is perfectly fine for something mundane, right? Like, “Hey, which restaurant should I check out?” If you’re not really a foodie and not looking for the best, you might just turn to your closest friend or a person in your community and ask someone you’re comfortable with.

Shama Hyder:

Two, what happens is we often ask for advice from people that we feel know us best, right? So, it is more personalization. So, well, knowing me, do you think I would do well at X, Y, Z or knowing me, do you think I would enjoy this? Now that’s not such a bad thing, because it lets someone weigh in, someone who might have outside perspective, right? Has a real good sense, maybe known you from when you were a kid or friends who have … that’s when you turn to your friend and say, “Should I be dating this person?” They say, “Oh, it’s a terrible idea, that’s not a great fit for you.” Whatever it may be.

Shama Hyder:

So, often we do advice in two ways. We either do proximity, whoever’s closest, or we look for people that we feel comfortable with or we feel like maybe they know us a little bit, maybe they have a little bit of history that can help guide our decisions. But here’s what I want to tell you. This is the lazy way to get advice, okay? Don’t get advice from people who haven’t been there and done that. This is the simplest thing I can tell you.

Shama Hyder:

When I’m looking at a new Apple device, when I’m looking at what iPhone I should get or what laptop I should upgrade to, I don’t just ask anybody, I go to my friend who I know loves Apple, who keeps up with all the hardware, all the technology, the friend that knows, right, which lens is going to be great, who can really speak to the specs.

Shama Hyder:

Now, I assume that he already has some sense of me. So he knows what I do for a living, he knows I used a laptop for work, I’m not a big gamer or whatever it may be. So you can still have the personalization aspect, but it’s much more important to ask for advice from people who know what they’re talking about and have done what you want to do. Absolutely crucial.

Shama Hyder:

The other day I was talking to someone who was weighing whether they should go to college or not. I thought, “Well, that’s interesting.” I said, “Well, how have you been figuring this out? How have you been deciding?” He said, “Well, I’ve been talking to a lot of people in my family,” and I said, “Oh, okay, that’s neat. Where have they gone the school?” He said, “Well, most of my family hasn’t gone to college.” I said, “Okay.” He said, “I’m asking them and they seemed to have done okay without it.”

Shama Hyder:

Now again, I’m not saying that you should go to college or shouldn’t, it’s a very personal decision. But you can’t really make that decision until you’ve spoken to people who’ve been to college, who have not been to college. That’s where you can get a really good sense and overview, right, in academia, in any type of research, you want a big enough sample size.

Shama Hyder:

So when you’re making certain decisions, a good sample size is important. Getting multiple people’s perspective, and then you’re the lens that decides what’s best for you. But if you only have one group of people and they all share a narrative, it becomes even more challenging. So next time you want advice and you’re really tempted to ask your cousin or your friend or your parents, because you think they know you best or really it’s because they’re close by, it’s the proximity error. Step back and think about who could you be asking that really knows, right, that’s been there, done that?

Shama Hyder:

If you’re looking to create a company and you’re looking to hire, you don’t want to ask someone who’s never hired before, you want to ask people who’ve done hiring, who’ve learned from their mistakes. If you are looking to run a marketing campaign, don’t talk to someone who’s never executed a marketing campaign before. You want to talk to someone who really understands what it takes to drive visibility, what it’s like, which tactics to use. Very important that you find someone in that vertical with that given expertise when you’re looking for advice.

Shama Hyder:

So that is my advice to you, I hope you enjoyed it. If you have questions, leave them in the comments, I’d love to answer. Advice I know is a tricky thing and we all feel like we want to get advice from the people we love. The other side to that of course, is one of the things I tend not to do, except in this type of forum, which is give unsolicited advice. In fact, most of the questions I answer here come from clients asking me questions or young people that I mentor, or things that I see that I want to address on a bigger level.

Shama Hyder:

It’s very important that when someone comes to you, that you’re not giving them unsolicited advice either, or when someone does come to me, I always tend to say it and phrase it this way, say, “Listen, I may be wrong.” A little bit of humility goes a long way. I don’t have all the answers, but in my humble experience of however many years or having run thousands of marketing campaigns, here’s what I can tell you for sure. So it works both ways.

Shama Hyder:

Hope you enjoyed this piece of advice. Leave a comment, definitely catch more of my videos. I hope you enjoyed them. Subscribe to the channel, and if you’re really feeling generous, tell a friend. Until next time.

Speaker 1:

… Born in Goa, India, Shama Hyder and her family migrated to the US at nine years old, enduring the hardships most immigrants experience, sharing a small one bedroom apartment with her parents and sister, adjusting to US culture and paving her way to be one of the leading names in the field of marketing with a long list of accomplishments and accolades. Shama praises her entrepreneurial parents for learning from their ambitious efforts for change. Her father at one point being a taxi driver, saving his income to open his first convenience store, with her mother having her own businesses.

Speaker 1:

Her parents’ entrepreneurial drive became a trade Shama started to hate. She recalls memories in which her family would eat out, and she would hear her parents discuss their assumptions of the restaurant’s gross income, its net profit. In her early years, she became entrepreneurial without even knowing it, still resenting the idea of it. At 13, she started selling through [Alumpia 00:00:59], allowing her to keep a commission for her sales, and when she became greater she also started selling candy and other things in schools, and which she got in trouble for, and handmade her own magazines.

Speaker 1:

As she grew up, she went to college and graduated with a master’s degree in organizational communication and technology at the University of Texas at Austin. Writing her thesis on Twitter at a time when Twitter only had 2,000 users. Being one of the first Twitter users in the world, Shama still has just her first name as a Twitter handle. At only 22 she offered companies help in the digital marketing space, helping them understand social media and with $1,500 in her bank account and a pure, burning passion, she passed one million dollars in revenue in her first three years. Her rise became something to envy.

Speaker 1:

Since then her companies and media has commanded a long and powerful list of clients. She was placed on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, named the zen master of marketing by Entrepreneur Magazine, the Millennial master of the universe by FastCompany.com. Businessweek and Inc. Magazine all recognized her as the top 30 entrepreneurs in the field of marketing. And she has been LinkedIn’s top 10 voices in marketing for years in a row. She’s also the only woman delegate invited by the US State Department to mentor tech entrepreneurs in the Middle East, and Asia as part of the White House initiative.

Speaker 1:

Currently, I have the great pleasure to work with Shama, to pick her brain and study her. And I’ve understood Shama understands the success blueprint or foundation really well. Nearly all successful people know they either have to know the foundations of business, or have other people that understand it well. Shama understands the foundation, and uses this well. Here’s how it works. Shama uses and sees her degree in communication and technology as an aid to her business, and another tool to her weapon list. She has used her communication skills to understand people better, to close better, and lead her team better. She understands the set skills that are important, and how to get better at them and use them effectively.

Shama Hyder:

You want to be an entrepreneur? If you want to be an entrepreneur, it’s very important to understand how business models work, what your market wants. A basic understanding of marketing doesn’t mean that you have to be amazing at all these things, but understanding how entrepreneurship works, customer service works, how you make customers feel special, how you communicate with your team. This is the baseline. And so it’s important, in this general way, to be good at certain things.

Shama Hyder:

For example, in school I always felt like, I’m not a math person, I’m not great with numbers. But running my own business for the past 12 years or so, I’ve had to figure out, I need to get to a baseline where I do feel good with math, I do feel good with numbers. Now I’m not someone you want solving your algebra equation for you, but I have a good enough sense of numbers to be able to run my company, to be able to look at a spreadsheet, to take a look at what my accountant puts in front of me. I don’t think the world belongs to generalists or specialists. I think the world belongs to cross pollinators, people who can take two sometimes very different areas, and combine them to do amazing work. And this is where I think you see some people who exceed and excel.

Speaker 1:

This isn’t what the majority of people do, but a key point that all successful people understand. Know all the basics, understand all the basics, and use them to your advantage. On top of this, she is a machine, in every sense of the word. She’s always adapting, always learning, like an ever improving AI. I’ve known her to be a woman of her word, and stick through a decision, focused, self-aware, with high emotional intelligence. The genius of Shama Hyder is her understanding of the blueprint of success, and applying this in teaching multiple industries, which allows her to replicate this for many of her clients, cutting through the noise and marketing this clear method well. Finding the Zen in marketing, creating momentum from a moment, recognizing the potential of a platform, even like Twitter at the time, before it was seen by the majority. This is skill Shama has zoned in on, and a skill I look to improve. If you liked this video, consider giving this video a like and looking at our other videos. You can subscribe to keep updated with new videos we post.

Shama Hyder:

I graduated from the University of Texas at Austin. I had a graduate degree in organizational communication and technology, a 4.0 GPA, I was so excited to get out into the real world and get that first job. When I graduated, we were facing one of the greatest recessions and it was really tough times, companies weren’t hiring. When I got out there, I thought I would go work for a consulting company, one of the [inaudible 00:00:26] and McKinseys of the world. And I couldn’t land a job, I found the marketplace to be extremely difficult. I found, interestingly, that big companies do not like to innovate as much as they say that they do. It eventually led me to creating my own company and my global empire with Zen Media, it really was a blessing that all these doors were closing.

Shama Hyder:

Hey everybody, this is Shama Hyder. And I want to talk to you about what happens if you lose a job, what to do. In fact, I made this video because I’ve been getting so many emails and messages from people who have lost their jobs, who faced layoffs, who, for one reason or another, are finding themselves out of a job. And many of you encouraged me to make this video and share my own story, and then share some insights on what I think you should do if you’ve lost your job. This could actually be a golden opportunity for you, you may just not realize it yet. But let me start by sharing a quick story about myself.

Shama Hyder:

When I graduated from the university of Texas at Austin, I had a graduate degree in organizational communication and technology, a 4.0 GPA, I was so excited to get out into the real world and get that first job, except, when I graduated, we were facing one of the greatest recessions, actually, it was the great recession, ’08, ’09, many of you might remember that. And it was really tough times, companies weren’t hiring and it was a tough time to be a young graduate. And when I got out there, I thought I would go work for a consulting company. One of the [inaudible 00:02:21] and Mackenzie’s of the world.

Shama Hyder:

Imagine my surprise, or my dismay, when I graduated and I couldn’t land a job. I found the marketplace to be extremely difficult. I found, interestingly, that big companies do not like to innovate as much as they say that they do when times are challenging. It’s often small businesses that get, I think, particularly creative in tough times. It was a very difficult time for me. I was 22, I just graduated. It eventually led me to creating my own company and my global empire with Zen media.

Shama Hyder:

It really was a blessing that all these doors were closing, but I couldn’t see it at that time. And I know many of you may be in that boat, you watching may be in that boat right now where you feel like life’s handed you some sour lemons and how do you make lemonade out of that? And I understand all too well being in that position of not having a job, being out there trying to figure out where your next step is.

Shama Hyder:

Here are some of my tips for you if you are in that position. If you lost your job or you’re looking for one, I guess I’ll separate the two out, some of these tips are applicable to both. If you are a first time job seeker, and if you’ve lost a job, you’re a seasoned pro, you’ve already been in the workplace, but something’s happened. The first thing I want you to do is take a deep breath, metaphorically, but also literally. When we face any kind of loss it’s very normal to react rather than respond, and what I don’t want you to do in this situation is exactly that. I don’t want you to react, I want you to respond.

Shama Hyder:

And the difference between reactions and response is often just time. You know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever gotten that email that you felt like, I need to respond to this right away, and then you clackedy, clack, type something up, but then decide, maybe I’ll to step back for a minute, take a little bit of breather and then you come back to it and say, oh, glad I didn’t hit the send button on that one.

Shama Hyder:

Just like this, losing a job can be a major life upheaval. Again, whether you saw it coming or didn’t, it’s tough. What I really want you to do is take a pause, take a breath, and let what’s happened, let it really sit with your or sit with it, if you will, in terms of being able to assess what went wrong, maybe it was maybe you had no say in the matter, maybe it really was just a downsizing of a company, but in all opportunities like this, or all situations like this, lies the opportunity where you can sit back and think about what’s actually happened.

Shama Hyder:

Here’s why this is really important, what you do want to do burn bridges. So often I see someone who’s laid off or loses their job and they react, they don’t respond. And then react in a way that’s not beneficial to them in the longterm or the short term. You really want to take a pause and think about it. The things you say to your current, yes, now past employer, the things that you say to your colleagues about your most recent employer, all these things can really catch up with you. That’s why I really want you to take a break. I want you to not hustle your way through this. I want you to be able to sit with it and really give yourself some time to be able to assess what’s happened, to be able to take that breather so you can respond in a way that’s best.

Shama Hyder:

Now, by the way, I don’t mean you have to take weeks or months to do this, it really can be a 24 hour time period where you unwind, where you really are able to meditate a little bit, right? Get outside, get outdoors, play with your dog. Dogs are awesome. If you’ve got a dog. But really try to unwind and maybe you don’t even talk about what’s happened with other people just yet, just so you have time to be able to decompress, to take it in, to be able to assess and have a better handle.

Shama Hyder:

Now, once you’ve been through this sort of what I … Not even necessarily a mourning period, but really a period of being able to soak it in, being able to … Now that you’ve given yourself enough time to respond and not just react, you can go out there guns blazing and find, and land, that next job, your dream job.

Shama Hyder:

Let’s pivot to sort of the things that I think could really help you if you are looking for a job. And I say this as an employer who’s hiring people. I say this as someone who’s been on that side, not sure when I could get a job or how it was going to work out. One thing you want to get really clear on, and hopefully this time that you take to sort of marinate and let things sink in, you can start thinking about what do you want, right? It’s a beautiful opportunity to be able to ask that question. So many times we’re so busy doing what we’ve been told we need to do, or thought we need to do, the loss of a job is actually a beautiful break because you can now think about what is it that you want to do.

Shama Hyder:

Sure, maybe I got to pay some bills. No one faults you for that, makes sense, but this is your opportunity to think about what would really move you? What’s something that feels meaningful to you? What kind of job do you want? This is a great time if you want to switch industries, if you want to switch roles, but the more clear you are about what you want to do, the easier time you will have landing that job.

Shama Hyder:

I can’t tell you how many times someone emails me and says, I’m looking for a position, I’ve known this person, I maybe worked with them in a capacity. I say, wonderful. What are you looking for? And then they give me a very broad, I’m looking for anything that’s leadership, marketing, sales, and I’m thinking, wow, that’s a lot of buckets. Make it easy for people so they fully know what it is that you’re looking for. I’m ideally looking for X, Y, Z role, which would allow me to contribute A, B, C to a certain company.

Shama Hyder:

It’s okay if your exploratory. You can even say that, and say, I am exploring these things, but here’s where I feel I can add the most value. Most people come at it from a perspective of, well, here’s what I was doing. No, this is your chance to, in many ways, to start a fresh. Think about what’s the contribution would like to be making.

Shama Hyder:

Next, get your resume on point. Guys, there is absolutely no excuse to have a sloppy resume. By sloppy I mean, I’ve seen some resumes that are three, four pages long. Nobody’s reading that, maybe perhaps with the exception of academia where certain things are a little bit different. But you really want to make sure that that resume is sharp, it’s snappy. It’s well worth it to hire a consultant to look over that resume, to give you feedback. A career coach can actually be immensely helpful in figuring out your next steps, but also making sure that you are indeed putting your best foot forward.

Shama Hyder:

One of the cool things I like to see in resumes myself is in a tweet describe yourself, and in a few characters so if someone’s not taking a deep dive, they can creatively get a gist of you. Now, speaking of tweets, make sure that your social media profiles are cleaned up. Now, you may have some political beliefs and no one is stopping you from sharing those. I think it’s important that you take the stance you want. Just know that employers will be judging you on this. I’ve yet to meet an employer who has not looked at social profiles and decided one way or the other about a candidate. Things that I look for, way more than someone’s political beliefs, is I’m really looking for, is this person immersed in the industry, right? Are they reading marketing materials? Are they following the latest blogs? How passionate are they about the industry? You want to make sure that your social media, not just in terms of the don’ts, but the do’s, reflect the things that you are absolutely passionate about.

Shama Hyder:

And one small tip, if you are applying for a company, make sure that you follow their page on LinkedIn. I’ve seen cases where someone applied for a company, the HR person went and saw their LinkedIn profile and found they were following their competitors, but not their company. You want to make sure that there’s not a disconnect. If in your cover letter you’re saying, I’m so excited about this company, I’ve been watching it, makes sure that your social profiles back that up, right? That you have indeed been watching it.

Shama Hyder:

The other thing you want to do is reach out to your network, and your network is bigger than you think it is. Reach out to vendors you might’ve worked with in any capacity in the past. And this is where it really pays off, if you have been a good, decent, human being, most people are going to be more than happy to help you. I can tell you that the emails that come across my desk, if I’ve had the pleasure of working with these people in any capacity, I will go above and beyond to try and help people because it’s the right thing to do, it feels good. It really does feel good to help other people. Give them that opportunity. Let them help you, but make it easy for them. And again, really helps if you’ve been a good person, right? Much easier to go up to someone and say, hey, I’m looking for a position, what do you have? Do you know somebody? Can you make these connections for me?

Shama Hyder:

And once you do that, don’t then just sit back, make sure that you are following up. I see you know this person on LinkedIn, could you please make an introduction? Make that person’s job easier to make sure that you help them help you. Think about your entire network, all the people that you’ve crossed paths with, that you could connect with at this time. And while you’re updating your resume, update your LinkedIn, make sure that it really highlights your strengths. Get those recommendations from people, don’t be shy about asking for recommendation on LinkedIn. People do look at those things and it makes a huge difference.

Shama Hyder:

Now, those are just a few tips on what to do as you’re looking for your new position. If you want me to do more videos on this, or talk a little bit more about how to land a dream job, I’m more than happy to do that. Leave me a comment. Definitely if you are interested in a career in marketing, I actually have a piece on Forbes. You can search for it. It’s called, so you want a career in marketing? And I lay out the exact steps that one should follow if you’re looking for a career in this industry.

Shama Hyder:

If you’ve lost your job, don’t lose hope this, I promise you, looking back, is going to be an opportunity that you didn’t even realize, but I’m here to tell you that it is, and it really could change the trajectory of your life for the better. Leave a comment, ask questions. And if you watched this video, definitely check out more videos. I highly recommend checking out the one on specialization versus generalization. Should you be a specialist or should you be a generalist? It goes really well with some of the things that I’ve just talked about.

Shama Hyder :

Being able to communicate in general is a great skill. Anytime you can take a course in speech and communication, take it. I don’t care if you’re thinking, well, I’m going to be an engineer and I really liked sitting behind your desk. Whatever it is, communicating your value to the world, communicating what you have to offer is absolutely key.

Shama Hyder :

One of the things that I feel like a lot of millennials and Gen Z really struggle with is a good balance between advocacy, like advocating for themselves, and coming off as overly entitled. I think a big part of that is a communication problem; not realizing when and how to speak up for yourself without making someone else feel like you’re running all over.

Shama Hyder :

Hey everyone, this is Shama Hyder here and today I want to talk to you about a topic that I get asked a lot about which is, should I specialize or should I generalize? Now I get this question from entrepreneurs who’ve been well established. I get this question from college students, really across the board, the question often is, should I generalize or should I specialize?

Shama Hyder :

Here is my answer. My answer is do both. Generalize and specialize and I’ll tell you exactly how to do this and be super successful at it and by super successful, I mean, to be the top 1% in your field, to really be the absolute standout. So there are certain things that I think where generalizing makes a lot of sense and that you should have a great general knowledge or a very strong general sense and here’s what I mean.

Shama Hyder :

So being really good at communication, being able to connect with people to a wide variety of platforms, writing, podcasting, audio, video, whatever it is, so that is a core skill that regardless of what you do, being able to communicate well is so key.

Shama Hyder :

In fact, I often tell students in college and high school that you should take communication courses. One of the things that I feel like a lot of millennials and Gen Z really struggle with is a good balance between advocacy, like advocating for themselves, and coming off as overly entitled and I think a big part of that is a communication problem, not realizing when and how to speak up for yourself without making someone else feel like you’re running all over them or you’re running over them.

Shama Hyder :

So, being able to communicate in general is a great skill. Understanding models, mental models, how to problem solve is a wonderful skill. So having a good sense of general knowledge of a basic, a baseline of skill sets that you can apply across the board, I think this is very important. So before you even get into, do I generalize or do I specialize, very important to embrace this idea that you have to have a baseline of knowledge and implementation and execution to be good at it.

Shama Hyder :

So you want to be an entrepreneur. You want to be an entrepreneur, it’s very important to understand how business models work, what your market wants. A basic understanding of marketing. Doesn’t mean that you have to be amazing at all these things but understanding how entrepreneurship works, customer service works, how you make customers feel special, how you communicate with your team. This is the baseline. So it’s important in this general way, to be good at certain things.

Shama Hyder :

For example, in school, I always felt like I’m not a math person. I’m not great with numbers but running my own business for the past 12 years or so, I’ve had to figure out I need to get to a baseline where I do feel good with math. I do feel good with numbers. Now, I’m not someone you want solving your algebra equation for you, but I have a good enough sense of numbers to be able to run my company, to be able to look at a spreadsheet, to take a look at what my accountant puts in front of me and make sense of it; understanding profit and loss, understanding gross margins, so I have a general sense.

Shama Hyder :

Now, should you be a specialist? This is really interesting. See, I don’t think the world belongs to generalists or specialists. I think the world belongs to cross pollinators, people who can take two sometimes very different areas and combine them to do amazing work and this is where I think you said, I see some people who exceed and excel in their chosen fields. So think about it this way. Someone who is a great writer. Great, there’s lots of great writers. Now, what if they had a background in criminal psychology? Now you’re combining criminal psychology with great writing and you elevate, right? Whatever they’re writing about, criminal fiction, crime fiction, now their books, their writing is going to stand head and shoulders above someone who might just be a good writer but doesn’t have that background, can’t pull from that.

Shama Hyder :

So many other ways you see this. Think about people who are good chefs or what’s the difference between a good chef and a great chef. A great chef might actually study art. They might have a background in art history where they pull from art and they merge that with their cooking or cooking in molecular chemistry. Wow. Very different things, but in many ways similar, right? How do you create a new, authentic, amazing taste? Well, a good start would be to understand, well chemistry and how certain things go together, certain flavor profiles might go together. For me, starting Zen Media, starting my company, I’ve always known my strengths, which were communication and my passion technology. What I do today combines the best of those worlds. So when we help would get their messages out there, it’s not just because I have a masters in communications. It’s because I was able to use that master’s in communication and merge it with the world of technology. I was talking about social media before social media was a thing.

Shama Hyder :

What I wrote the Zen of Social Media Marketing, grab it for you right here. Here it is. So you have it on my desk. So when I wrote the Zen of Social Media Marketing, it was one of the first books on the topic. There really weren’t any and now you can see it’s in its fourth edition. It’s used as a textbook in a lot of colleges and college classes and so forth.

Shama Hyder :

My second book, Momentum, also handy enough right here. Part of the reason why I’ve had the success I’ve had as an entrepreneur and why I love sharing this is because I think I’ve been able to cross pollinate really well. Even when I started my company, a lot of people said, “Well, you should pick one industry and just stick to it.” But I didn’t want to do that because I felt like we got our best work, where we did our best work, was finding an industry that was doing really well creative stuff and then applying that to our client in a different industry, and then seeing how that success steamrolled, because no one else was doing that in that industry.

Shama Hyder :

So that’s what I mean by, should you be a generalist or specialist? Be both. Be a generalist in the sense that you have a really good baseline of things that you’re good at, that you should be good at. You should be a good communicator. We live in a world today where that’s not an option. It’s not optional to be a good communicator. Now, there’s excellent communicators but being a good communicator, there’s definitely a baseline. Know the basics of business. Know the basics of a good mental model that you can use to problem solve and if you’re not familiar with mental models, look them up. There’s so much amazing work. I really like Farnam Street as a blog and a podcast. They have tons of information on how you can use various mental models to problem solve.

Shama Hyder :

So there’s certain skillsets, which I think are amazing and super helpful, no matter what field you’re going to be in. Then, rather than just specialize in one area, think about how you can specialize perhaps in two very different areas that you have a passion for, or that you’re good at and when you can merge those two things, that’s the secret sauce. Really the secret sauce to success is being able to find two very disparate things that at first look people would say, “I can’t believe you would combine those things.” Or, “Wow.” But when you really think about it, it makes all the sense in the world.

Shama Hyder :

Be sure to check out more videos, guys. Tons more videos this way, check it out. Be sure to subscribe and leave a comment. Let me know what you’d like to see me cover more. Until next time.

Shama Hyder:

These things are very indicative of whether someone’s going to be successful or not. These three things make the difference between someone who is going to be okay in their career and someone who is going to be wildly successful. But I’ve spoken at so many universities around the world, and often I meet students who express interest and they say, “Oh my God, I’d love to keep in touch. Is that cool?” And I say, “Yes.” I rarely ever said no to anyone who wants to keep in touch, but I’m always amazed at how many students actually follow through. When we are hiring we look for smart people all the time on [inaudible 00:00:32] and media apply. Well, this young lady actually did. She applied. She got the internship. I thought what was really interesting was how many of her colleagues and peers said, “Oh my God, I didn’t know. I wish I would have gotten that internship.” But the difference was that they didn’t follow up.

Shama Hyder:

Hey guys, this is Shama Hyder here. So, I wanted to talk about something that I often notice, especially when I have new hires, young graduates, so forth. And I found that these three things are very indicative of whether someone’s going to be successful or not. In fact, these three things make the difference between someone who was going to be okay in their career and someone who was going to be wildly successful. And here are those three things, that over my last 12 years in hiring people and mentoring young people and coaching and whatnot, that I really discovered. So, here are the three things. The first is the ability to follow up. And it’s not even the ability. It’s just, do they follow up?

Shama Hyder:

And what I mean by this is, when I speak around the world and I’ve done a ton of keynotes. Of course, right now with COVID I’m doing a lot of virtual keynotes and so forth. But I’ve spoken in so many universities around the world. And often I meet students who express interest and they say, “Oh my God, I’d love to keep in touch. Is that cool?” And I say, yes. I rarely ever said no to anyone who wants to keep in touch. But I’m always amazed at how many students actually follow through. In fact, I’ll give you one example of someone who did it right. We recently hired an intern who had two internships that fell through in her local city and was looking for a remote internship with everything going on. And funnily enough, she had chosen me to do a report in her college digital marketing class, and she did a report on me and Zen Media.

Shama Hyder:

And the professor had shared it on LinkedIn. So I noticed it. I thought it was really cool. I connected with the professor. I sent some books to the students. It was a lot of fun. I thought it was neat. And then of course the class ended, and I let the professor know that if any of her students were looking for an internship, we were hiring. We look for smart people all the time, tell them to go check out Zen Media, apply. Well, this young lady actually did. She applied. She got the internship. And I thought what was really interesting was how many of her colleagues and peers said, “Oh my God, I didn’t know. I wish I would have gotten that internship.” But the difference was that they didn’t follow up. The opportunity was available to everyone, right? The opportunity was available to everyone in the class. The opportunity is available in general.

Shama Hyder:

And so, a lot of times, just the difference between people who follow up, who do what they say they’re going to do, it makes a world of difference. In fact, one way that I look at, even when people apply for jobs or do an interview is, do they respond? Do they send an email just to say thank you? It doesn’t even have to be handwritten note. Just do the follow-up and say thank you for your time. These little things make a huge difference between who’s going to be doing well in their career and who’s going to be massively successful. The second, and in fact all three of these start with an F. So, the second one is feedback. How good are they at taking feedback? Sometimes people can be very closed off. They don’t like criticism. They see feedback as criticism. And so, if you give them feedback, they shut down, they close up. They don’t want to hear anything that they might perceive as negative or feel like it is an attack.

Shama Hyder:

So, people who are really successful, I find are able to take feedback, are able to listen, not just hear it, but really listen and incorporate that into their lives, into their work. And it makes such a difference when someone can actually hear the feedback. Now, if you really, really want to top this and get suit to be super successful, you can also learn to give good feedback. I think this is an art that you develop over time and everyone’s different. You guys have probably heard of the sandwich method, which means, compliment, criticism and compliments. So your sandwich should be the criticism between two compliments. I don’t think while that’s necessary, is important to give feedback in a way that lets people know that that’s not factual, but it is one person’s opinion. And feedback is also best when it’s directly related to something that someone’s doing.

Shama Hyder:

So, it’s task oriented, it’s performance oriented, it’s not so much about who someone is, right? But the specific task at hand. So, those are the two of things so far that I find really differentiate people and help them be successful. One is, can they take feedback? Right? Can they take feedback? Can they give good feedback? Because that is the hallmark of a great leader. Being able to give good feedback, try saying that three times fast. And following up, do they follow up? Do they follow through? Following in any sense. Right? As simple as, this is what I find fascinating too, which many people don’t realize. But when they apply for jobs, I know many HR directors who will go look at their LinkedIn profiles to say, “Does this person follow us?”

Shama Hyder:

If their cover letter says, “Oh my God, I love this company. I want to work for you guys. I think it’s awesome. I’ve been following you.” It’s very easy to check, are you actually following? Do you follow that person on Twitter? Do you follow the company on LinkedIn? I know one person who didn’t get a position because they were actually following a competing company on LinkedIn, but not the company that they’d applied for. So, these little social signals that we send out they speak volumes, they really do. And I think people who are very successful know how to capitalize on it. But lastly, the third characteristic that I find to be particularly true for people who are abundantly successful is what I call, they know how to fly a kite. I don’t actually mean a literal flying of kite, although that might be an interesting characteristic.

Shama Hyder:

What I really mean by that is, they’re fine with telling people to go fly a kite. Which is, they’re not daunted by what they feel people think about them. They’re not stuck in other people’s judgments. So many times I know so many talented people who are so hung up on what their friends might think, what their parents might think, what their peers might think. They’re so scared of looking foolish or feeling, because it’s not the truth, just feeling like a failure in the eyes of people that they care about, that they don’t follow their dreams. And I think these days, especially, it’s such a shame because the truth is you get judged no matter what. I think people judge you for staying home with your kids these days. They judge you for going out to work these days.

Shama Hyder:

There is so much judgment all around. But there is a lot to be said about someone who can ignore that judgment and say, “Go fly a kite.” And still follow up, still listen to that feedback, still be able to take market feedback and respond, right? The companies that are the most successful are the ones they can pivot. They can take that feedback. And this idea of flying a kite is a sense of fearlessness. Every time I put out one of these videos, is there a part of me that thinks, Oh, what if someone hates this content? What if someone doesn’t like it? What if? Well, of course. What if? But it’s not for those people that I create the content, it’s for viewers like you. People who want to engage, want to learn, what to grow. I get so many messages from viewers, from all of you across the world. And I love it when I feel like maybe my story has inspired someone.

Shama Hyder:

Maybe you’ve felt like it helped you in some small way. Right? And there are so many platforms. And if I didn’t do that because I was scared, or because I gave in to that fear, right? Which would be more accurate, then what a shame it would be. So, those are the three things I find to be very special unique characteristics of what makes someone spectacularly successful. And these are early signs. You’ll notice I said nothing about IQ. You’ll notice I said nothing about what industry they’re in, or do they come from money or not? None of those things matter. The things that I find to be great indicators of whether someone’s going to be a smashing success, is one, do they follow up? Do they keep their word? Do they do what they said they were going to do?

Shama Hyder:

Very simply, do they follow? Right? Do they track? Do they give good feedback? Do they take good feedback? Is feedback a part of their life where they’re constantly learning to improve? And at the same time, do they have the fly a kite factor? Which is, they can ignore the naysayers and keep marching on and do what they do best. I hope you guys are enjoying these videos. Definitely subscribe, watch more videos. I’ve got tons of content. Hopefully you find it helpful. Leave me a comment. I look forward to hearing from you and I love it. I love your messages. Thanks for watching..

Shama Hyder:

Moment of truth. Let’s be honest. You don’t have to be honest with me. You’re just honest with yourself so that’s okay. How many of you have visibly sighed when Amazon couldn’t get you something by next day delivery? Okay.

Shama Hyder:

How many of you have been like, “Ah, two days.” Right? You’ve done it. How many have ever ordered an Uber or a Lyft and it said seven minutes? And you said, “Seven minutes. I thought it was going to take two.” Think about that, right? I think one of the things that’s very easy to forget when we’re a small business owner, is that we’re also the consumers and customers, right? So how we think as customers, as consumers, we almost forget when we think about the business, because we’re so close to it. My goal today is also to give you a little bit of distance so you start to see how that customer is changing. Very, very important. I won’t play this video for you, but I absolutely do love it because this lovely little girl who is about two, so a little bit older, is two thinks that magazine is a broken iPad. Right?

Shama Hyder:

The iPads easy for her. Mom gives her the iPad. She knows how to make things bigger and smaller and everything. It’s a lot of fun. Mom takes away the iPad, gives her a magazine. She can’t figure out what to do with it. She flips it over. She doesn’t understand why none of the graphics move, why she can’t do anything. And because she’s two and she’s really just figured out how to use her digits, she tests the finger from one hand onto the Palm of her other to make sure that her finger is still working. An entire generation that would think that their anatomy had given out on them before they think the technology is defunct. Right? Because that could never be. How crazy is that? And yet, when I asked the question, how many of us visibly sigh when Amazon couldn’t deliver something two days, almost all of us kind of had that chuckle and said, “We’ve been there.”

Shama Hyder:

So the connected consumer isn’t necessarily a generation, which by the way I do think is changing. I’m amazed to watch my son, I don’t know if you guys see this with your little one, but I feel like swiping is a developmental milestone now. The pediatrician is going to be like, “Well, he’s crawling but is he swiping yet?” I feel like it’s just a natural thing like he just waved his hand in front of the TV. I’m like, “I don’t know what he’s doing, but I really think he expects Elmo to move.” Right? So, it’s really amazing where that basic line is right now. So all these things that we thought were nice to have or cool. How many of you get still kind of excited when you take your smartphone out or are able to do things with it?

Shama Hyder:

Just me? Maybe you sir, since we seem to be kindred souls. All right. So the two of us really do love it. I do. When I look at my smartphone and the ability to text someone or email them, I get a little giddy. I’m like, “This is so cool.” Because for the longest time in history, we’ve never had that. Right? And now all of this technology that we have, that has almost become the baseline for us. How many of you can honestly say you’ve scrolled through Netflix and have struggled to find what to watch? And how many millions of shows are on there? Very different world that we live in now. So I want to give you top five, my top principles for how you start leveraging all of this to make a difference. How do you start to get momentum going in your businesses?

Shama Hyder:

So the number one thing I want to talk to you about is the importance of customer focus and it has nothing to do with what you’re thinking about. When I say customer focused, you’re probably thinking the old adage, the customer’s always right. Putting the customer first. Not necessarily in that way. Do you remember when I told you I did my thesis on Twitter? I did guys. It was like 10 minutes ago. All right. Did my thesis on Twitter. One of the things I wanted to know was why people use social media. For all of you who said, “I kind of love hate it.” Haven’t you ever wondered why someone puts up a picture of, “Here’s a banana I had for lunch.”? Although if they tag your place, that’s kind of cool. Or walking my dog, good for you.

Shama Hyder:

And while we make fun of the selfies, we do it ourselves, right? We’ve all done it. We’ve all done this stuff. And they’re like, “Oh, I make fun of other people for doing it but here I am.” So, why do people use social media? That was my number one question. Would you like to know what I found out? Here’s what I thought it was. I’ll tell you that first, just to build up a little more mystery. So, I thought it was to connect with each other. To have a sense of community, but I was wrong. That’s the secondary reason. The primary reason people use social media is to showcase their own identity. To showcase their own identity. I can hear some of you thinking right now, “Narcissists. I knew it. I knew you were narcissistic.” Right? The age of the Kardashians, but it’s bigger than that. How we connect with each other started a long time ago, long before technology was ever there. Do you remember how meet your first best friend in kindergarten?

Shama Hyder:

I can tell you, you probably sat next to someone. They had a blue crayon and you said, “Oh my God, I like blue crayons.” Right? You had a PBJ sandwich. And they said, “Get out of here. My mom makes me PBJ sandwiches.” That’s how we make friends. That’s how we develop. That’s how we grow technology didn’t change that. It just amplified it. So if you understand this, that people use social media to showcase who they are. You have to start asking a very different question of yourselves. Anybody done a brand building activity at any point in their business, by the way? Like, what do we stand for? What’s our brand? Thought about it, or maybe do a little more of that. Okay, cool.

Shama Hyder:

But if you really think about your brand, whether you’ve actively called that or not, the question you’ve always been asking is what do we stand for? What do we want to be known for? But what if I was to tell you, that’s the wrong question. Based on what this research shows us, what you really should be asking is what does doing business with us allow our customers to say about themselves?

Shama Hyder:

Okay? It’s a game changer. You agree? I know, I know. What is doing business with us allow our customers to see about themselves? There is a local shop in my neighborhood where my parents live and it has the most basement beat prices for clothes that you’ve ever seen. My mom and I would never shop there. Right? My dad on the other hand, loves to shop there. He takes great pride in being able to buy a shirt for five bucks. He tells everybody about this place. People who don’t want to hear about this place hear about this place. People who never shop up here hear about this place. You know why? Because it lets him say something about himself., doesn’t it? “I find a great deal. Boy, I am the best bargain hunter out there. You guys just keep going on to your Macy’s and your Nordstrom’s, that’s not where I go.”

Shama Hyder:

When your customers shop at your place, it says something about them. There’s a great little grocery store, locally owned in my neighborhood. I live in Miami. I just moved there. Anybody familiar with Miami or South Florida? It’s warm. You guys should come visit. It’s nice. But it’s also extremely Latin. Okay? To the point where everybody speaks Spanish, except for me. Luckily, my husband has lived there for 20 years and he’s fluent, but it’s sometimes hard to get by. I literally feel like I live in Latin America. Like, I call home Depot, it’s like, “Hola?” I’m like, “Hold on. Here you go.” Right? I don’t fully understand. So a lot of what you also see has Latin flair, a lot of the food has Latin flair. That’s great. I enjoy Latin food. Sometimes, I really miss a good mac and cheese.

Shama Hyder:

Now there is a local grocery store supermarket, a mile from my house in the middle of South Miami. The only challenge is you can’t find parking because it’s always so full. This place has great mac and cheese. In fact, the way they differentiate themselves is that they’re very Americana. The stuff that I can’t find anywhere else in Miami, that reminds me very much of Texas, of home where I’m from, they have. They have peach pie, right? They have German chocolate cake. They have all these things that I really loved that I grew up eating. They has Mississippi mud pie. Anybody have Mississippi mud pie, by the way? Please, like you you’re not living your best life if you haven’t had some by the way, it’s really that good. But you can’t find that in Miami. Norman Brothers, however, understands that. They’re feeling a key need that no one else really does.

Shama Hyder:

And you would think, well, that’s not really their audience. Yes. But there’s plenty of people like that who want that. Right. I love it. I go there. I enjoy my time. It makes me feel like I’m back home in Texas for the 20 minutes that I spend there. Makes me feel good. That’s really what customer focus is about. I’ll give you some examples. What does that look like to you guys?

Shama Hyder:

I will take that. Break room?

Speaker 2:

Break room.

Shama Hyder:

Break room? Okay. Coffee shop? Does it look like a coffee shop? Oh, speaking of which. I have my latte. Coffee shop. What else?

Speaker 4:

Restaurant.

Shama Hyder:

Restaurant. How many would guess a bank? The future of banks, ladies and gentlemen. And I’ll tell you why this matters so much. How many of you now do most of your banking on your mobile? I know it’s still a cash business so you got to go out there and you probably go into banks more than most, but how many of you would say a lot of the stuff you could do on your mobile phone now? Do you think that’s changing how banks function? The only time I ever went through a drive through at the bank, and the only reason I would go to the bank is because they gave my dog treats. My little one, my malti-poo, not my giant schnauzer. I have three dogs, two malti-poo’s, and a giant schnauzer named Bootsy. Bootsy could not get through the window of the, he’s just giant. My little malti-poo Snoopy really loves it because he would get a little treat.

Shama Hyder:

So I went to the bank just so he could get a treat. Banks have to change a lot of what they’re doing. This is called a society for grownups, nice name right? They created this because they figured out, hey, listen. People don’t really care so much about where they bank in terms of where they put their money as long as it meets certain needs. It’s safe. It feels like it’s a good, it’s FBIC insured and so forth. But one of the things they care about, especially millennials paying off student loans, maybe traveling the world with a best friend. What do you think all these things cost? Money, right? All of these things take money. So they started saying, “What if we started educating people on the things they want to do?” And by the way, when you have those financial decisions, guess who’s here to help? The bank.

Shama Hyder:

Hi there. This is Shama Hyder again. Thank you so much for watching my videos. I super appreciate it. Please share if you find this information valuable, do comment. I love hearing from you and be sure to subscribe. That way you don’t miss a single thing.

Shama Hyder:

And I think this is such a great time to step back and say, what is it that we’ve always done and why? You’re revisiting your brand, who your customers are? What are they hungry for today? What are they really going to be hungry for tomorrow? And I think catering to that is going to make a huge difference. It’s going to be the difference between the companies that use this moment wisely and the companies that lose when all of this is over.

Shama Hyder:

Hey everyone, this is Shama Hyder here. And I wanted to talk about a topic that I’ve been getting a lot of questions around, which is what does post-COVID world look like? You know, in terms of marketing to our customers, this business world, what are we going into? And I think this is such a fabulous question. In fact, I just spoke last week to a reporter from the American Marketing Association and they were doing a whole piece on, what happens to companies whose conferences have been canceled and trade shows have been canceled? You know, how do these people still continue to get these meetings that they had set up? And, it really dawned on me that I think what everyone is trying to do or so many companies are trying to do is they’re still trying to force a round peg into a square hole or vice versa.

Shama Hyder:

You know, they’re really trying to make something work that worked for the world before, but doesn’t make sense now. And what I mean by that is, it’s a really good time to step back and say, we’ve been doing these things because of and fill in the blank. And so many times when I asked this question about, “Oh, why are you going to this trade show to this company?”, for example, they’ll respond with, “Oh, well, that’s what we’ve always done.” And I think this is such a great time to step back and say, what is it that we’ve always done and why? And, asking that question about why and revisiting your brand, who your customers are, what are they hungry for today? What are they really going to be hungry for tomorrow? And I think catering to that is going to make a huge difference.

Shama Hyder:

It’s going to be the difference between the companies that use this moment wisely and the companies that lose when all of this is over because they haven’t really focused. They haven’t sat back and said, “Okay, great time to reevaluate where we are, where we want to be.”

Shama Hyder:

So, I was thinking about what does the framework look like for this new age. And I wanted to give you some parameters, some things to help you really think about what this post-COVID world is going to look like at least for the near term future. Eventually things may go back to a different kind of normal. I don’t want to say, what we’ve always been, but I think these guideposts will really help you as you think about where you want your career, your brand to move into the future.

Shama Hyder:

So I’ve got three R’s for you and then three C’s, because I just find that it really helps to remember information like that, right? So, here’s the three R’s you need to keep in mind. The first is repetitive. This is going to be absolutely key. And did I say this is going to be absolutely key? See what I did there? A little repetition for you, because the noise is just so mind boggling right now. And it’s not just the extra noise of the media. It’s all our internal chatter too. People need repetition more than ever before. So if you ever thought, “Man, we’re out there a little too much”, first of all, there’s no such thing as that. Be rest assured that repetition is going to be your best friend. Sometimes I get the question where people say, “Well, if he posts too much on social media, isn’t that a bad thing?” My answer to that always is no. It’s never a bad thing because the way algorithms are set up and everything, even if you put your message out there a hundred times a day, chances are that you aren’t reaching your entire target market. It’s just not possible. And so, as long as of course it’s quality content, then repetition is going to be really important.

Shama Hyder:

If you email your list once a month, email them weekly. And again, I don’t mean repetition for the sake of repetition, but really making sure that your message is out there consistently, right? That consistent visibility is going to be so much more important than it ever was just because you’re going to have to work harder to cut through that noise.

Shama Hyder:

The second R I have for you is real. I think one of the cool things that’s happened during this COVID crisis is that we all just had the ability and perhaps the excuse to be more real. And what I mean by that is, we’ve done work calls in jeans and tee shirts. We’ve cut away. We’ve done away with frivolous meetings that perhaps you were like, one of those, why did we keep doing this meeting for? And I think it’s interesting because I think we’ve been able to see our colleagues and our clients and our vendors in a more three dimensional light. I think so many times when you’re working with someone, it’s easy to just see them as the work person and not for the fullness, the richness I think that life has to offer.

Shama Hyder:

The other day I had my nine month old son and I apologized on the call and I said, “I’m sorry. I have my nine month old son here in case you hear him babbling in the background.” And my client immediately said, “Well, don’t worry about it. I’ve got my two year old year here and there’s only so long I can keep them distracted.” So it’s been really nice to bond with people I think beyond just the work me or the personal me. And I think we’ll see more of this blend. So in terms of your marketing, the more real you can make it, the more authentic it is, I think the more it will resonate with people. And this is your moment. I just think there’s some brands out there right now that are doing this extremely well. They are leveraging the fact that things are more real than ever. And these are the brands that I think are making some, some awesome, awesome decisions and are moving forward in a way that their customers feel like they’re connecting with them, right?

Shama Hyder:

So here’s a great example. I saw this video that Carter’s did. So if you’re a parent, you’re familiar with Carter’s. They do a children’s clothing. And this was such a great video because they filmed all the kids of their employees in their homes. And they had this fun little song that they put together about how mommy and daddy were home or piggyback rides. It was just so touching and beautiful, but it was real. It wasn’t overly scripted. It wasn’t something that … It wasn’t a commercial, right? It would have been a great commercial, but I think it really spoke to the realness that we’re all facing right now. And you think about The Good News Show with John Krasinski, which has been cool. I mean, this guy’s doing this show from home and he’s got celebs coming on board too, and of course it’s just fun because you get to see the real. And he’s showcasing good news from all over the world, interesting things that are happening.

Shama Hyder:

So I think that hunger for real, wholesome, pure is very much still there and will continue to be.

Shama Hyder:

So the third R is going to be relevant. This goes to my first message as well. You can be repetitive, but you want to make sure it’s relevant because let’s say that you do get someone’s attention. Boy, you better make sure that if you’ve gotten their attention, they feel like, wow, this was worth giving my attention to, right? So I think this idea of just doing something for the sake of grabbing someone’s attention just doesn’t work anymore. I think you really have to think about how is this relevant to my audience at this very minute?

Shama Hyder:

And so the three R’s being repetitive, being real and staying relevant. These three R’s are going to be I think the foundation, this new framework of how we move forward. And you know, my buddy, Chris Brogan used a great analogy. He said, “It’s like we’re building on the sand.” And I think that’s so true, which is your things are very fluid right now, but within that fluidity, without that sense of control and static we’re able to create something really beautiful. And I think there’s something really powerful about that.

Shama Hyder:

All right. So I gave you the three R’s. Here’s now the three C’s, which I think are also going to help. Again, think of these as guideposts, the framework for our new world. So the first is compact, right? Very simply the shorter something can be the better. And I know there’s all this stuff about, well, if something’s longer, people will still enjoy it. And yes, that’s true. But I think more than ever before, people want to know what’s the bottom line? Is this tweetable, right? Can I get something in a quicker, faster format? And so I think the more you can compact … Think about how you can get your messaging to be sharper, snappier. It’ll make a big difference. We at Zen, for example, we say, “If you have a moment. We provide the momentum.” As simple as that. So think about how you can make your messaging, everything that you’re doing as compact as possible without of course losing the value. There is such a thing.

Shama Hyder:

And then of course the second C is contactless. I think it’s going to be a long time before we’re comfortable hugging strangers, handshakes with people. Keeping that distance for good reason. And so we think contactless is definitely going to be the norm. Think about restaurants when you go in, right? You’re not going to be wanting a menu that’s been touched by how many people. You’re going to ideally be able to pull the menu up on your own phone. One Dine, which is a leader in restaurant technologies is doing an amazing job. They’re leading I think right now, the contactless revolution in the restaurant field. Which by the way, if you’re a restaurant, definitely check them out. Onedine.com. They’re making their technology free, absolutely free right now for restaurants while everything is happening. So, make sure you’re ready for when you do reopen. This is true for retailers out there too. Contactless, touchless. That’s really going to be the norm, at least for the near future.

Shama Hyder:

So even if you have a retail location, think about your lobby. Think about how you’re set up in your location to create more contactless interactions that require less touch.

Shama Hyder:

And the third C I think is really going to be collaborative, which I’m excited about. I think we’re going to see a lot more creation and collaboration where before it just wasn’t considered a done thing. And speaking of brands who are leveraging this moment, I think Pepsi really did great while they were in the news for cutting their marketing. What they’re really doing is just again, using these principles to say, where do we focus best? And they’re being collaborative. They’ve sponsored John Krasinski’s Good News Show that I was talking about earlier. So we think we’re going to see a lot more collaborations, a lot more people teaming up with influencers, both in B2B and B2C.

Shama Hyder:

So these are my guideposts for you for I think what’s going to happen as business reopens and where your marketing really needs to be. So let me rephrase that for you. Three R’s and three C’s. So the first is repetitive. If you feel like you’ve said it too many times, I promise you, you haven’t. Your marketing needs to cut through all this bull jive right now. It needs to be repetitive. Two, it needs to be real. I think it’s nice we’re starting to see people and organizations become less one dimensional. And I think that’s a wonderful thing. And your customers are going to expect more of this. Three relevant. Make sure that your message, your brand, the things that you are putting out there are relevant to your customers. No more of this getting attention for the sake of getting attention.

Shama Hyder:

And then my three C’s, right? Compact. Make sure that whatever it is can be understood quickly. It’s snappy. It’s clear. It’s concise. And then contactless. I think for the near future we’re going to need to be less contact. And I am a Texas girl. I love handshakes and hugs. And so this is going to be hard, but we’re going to get through it together. So if you have a restaurant. If you have any kind of actual physical location, think how you can encourage more contactless, because it will make your customers feel safer. And then collaborative. I think we’re going to see a great Renaissance of brands collaborating with influencers, with creators, with more creativity that I think we’ve seen in a minute, just as you know, whenever things slowed down in this way, creativity flourishes.

Shama Hyder:

So, these are my, I think hallmarks for your guidepost and the framework for where I believe that marketing and business is really headed. So get your ducks in order. This is your time. This is your moment. Absolutely own it.

Shama Hyder:

Hi there. This is Shama Hyder again. Thank you so much for watching my videos. I super appreciate it. Please share it. If you find this information valuable, do comment. I love hearing from you and be sure to subscribe. That way you don’t miss a single thing.

Did Blockbuster lose because they bet on the internet? No, they lost because they waited too long to act.

Hi, this is Shama Hyder, CEO of Zen Media. Right now, along with COVID-19 we’re facing another epidemic, an epidemic of uncertainty. See, risk isn’t the killer of most businesses, it’s uncertainty. It’s waiting, and waffling, and just holding back that gets companies and people in truly hot waters.

Did Kodak lose because they took a risk on digital? No, they lost because they didn’t do anything. They could have built Instagram. Did blockbuster lose because they bet on the internet? No, they lost because they waited too long to act. See, uncertainty certainly dooms us all. This strategy of playing it safe couldn’t be any more wrong. You should not wait and see what 2020 has to offer, who we end up electing, how long this social distancing lasts. A virus doesn’t stop, technology driven disruption, or change, or digital change. The pandemic will come to a close, but disruption will continue to be the norm.

You have to learn to swim in these waters, not hope that somehow the current slows or changes. There has never been more uncertainty than there is today, and it has never been more crucial to assess and act. Yes, absolutely, act. Look at all the people right now who refuse to work remotely or let their people work remotely. How many of those companies have been forced into it right now? We at Zen Media have been remote for over 11 years. People used to ask me where our office was and I used to say, “Well, the cloud.” They’d often ask if that was uptown and I’d respond, “Yes way uptown.” See, remote work is definitely going to be a part of the future. It’s only accelerated what was already coming. This virus is teaching us a lesson in exponential growth. It doubles every three days when left to spread.

The countries who acted fast, won. The ones who played the wait and see game have suffered more losses and this will continue to be the pattern for this pandemic and any future ones to come. Here’s what we know is true. This pandemic and uncertainty will continue to be a part of our lives and businesses until there is a vaccine, and even then there may be future pandemics, future disruptions. This we know to be true. So while others may wait and see what the future brings, the smartest leaders aren’t focused on what they can’t do. They are absolutely focused on what they can do. They are finding new ways to support their customers and engage their teams to keep in touch with their prospects, to keep business going and thriving. For example, restaurants who have never offered curbside delivery are now establishing new systems, enabling systems to be able to do so.

OneDine, our leader in restaurant technology solutions, is offering their technology at no cost to help many of these businesses. A local photographer here is offering front porch photography for families, all while keeping her distance. She’s shooting these from 12 feet away when families convene on their outside porch. Companies are doubling down on influencers, and content, and Facebook ads because you see, the best companies and leaders don’t wait and see. They control their own fate, they build stronger teams, and at the end of the day, they are the market winners.

Hi there, this is Shama Hyder. Again. Thank you so much for watching my videos. I super appreciate it. Please share if you find this information valuable. Do comment, I love hearing from you and be sure to subscribe. That way you don’t miss a single thing.

I came to this country, I came to the U S when I was nine years old. Both my parents worked a ton of blue collar jobs. I did not come from money. We had a small one bedroom apartment. I shared a room with my sister. For someone who came from humble beginnings, to me, what felt like that much success, I was amazed and I was just thinking, wow, how could I ask for anything more? I was so grateful for everything that had come my way. Just felt unbelievable. Making my first hundred thousand and then making my first million.

Hey everyone, it’s Shama Hyder here and I am turning 35 this Saturday, so it’s a, it’s sort of a big number, right? I guess when you’re younger, 35 definitely seems big and, you know, it’s been making me think a lot about what I’ve learned over the last few years. Last, well, quite a few years I’ve been an entrepreneur since I was 22 when I started my company then. I was probably an entrepreneur from a lot younger than that even, I mean, we’ve been entrepreneurial since I was about nine or ten years old. I was always doing something entrepreneurial. But I started my company Zen Media when I was 22 and in the last, you know, the last 15 years from my 20 to 30 35 I feel like I’ve learned quite a bit, which is good, right? One would hope that as you get older, you learn and you grow.

And I often get asked this question by media publications and on podcasts and things about what advice would I give to someone in their twenties? And so I thought about, what if I could go back in time and tell myself something in my twenties like what? What are the five lessons that I have learned? Just being reflective and wanting to share with you guys in full transparency. what are the five things that I learned as I built my business, as I built my brand as I’ve gone through so much personal turmoil up and down. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost loved ones. I, I’ve gained loved ones. I’ve gained friends. And so, you know, part of this of course is what we call life. And so here’s what I’ve learned. Here’s five things that I’ve learned in my twenties that I wish I could go back and tell myself now.

The first thing would be to, to think bigger, I think. I wish I could go back to my 20 year old self and say, think bigger. And what I mean by this is when I started my company, I had a lot of success right out of the gate and a lot of it was right time, right place. Here I was helping people understand social media when it was such a relatively new thing. And I think that gave me a lot of credibility in the industry. It led to very quick successes, especially after we had some really cool client wins and it just sort of, it grew from there.

But I came to this country, I came to the U S when I was nine years old. I was an immigrant. I am an immigrant and so to someone who came from that world and both my parents worked a ton of blue collar jobs. I did not come from money. We had a small one bedroom apartment. I shared a room with my sister, well until I actually, I always shared a room with my sister until I went off to college practically. So for someone who came from humble beginnings to have that, to me, what felt like that much success I was amazed and I was just thinking, wow, how could I ask for anything more? And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized there was a great balance between being grateful and wanting more and thinking bigger.

My work back then impacted thousands, tens and thousands of people. But if I’d maybe gone gotten funding, if I’d created more tools beyond just offering services, if I had scaled, right? If I taken that momentum and scaled and gotten even the right people on board, it’s like you don’t know what you don’t know. I could have probably scaled even faster, grown even faster and reached millions of people. And so I do wish if I went back, I would have really told myself, you know, think bigger, think bigger than where you come from. And again, I was so grateful for everything that had come my way just felt unbelievable. Making my first hundred thousand and then making my first million. Maybe I’ll do a video on that if you guys enjoy these videos on what it feels like to make your first million and how you get there. But it just felt like so much money and it felt like so much success.

And I made that mistake of thinking, oh my God, who am I to have all of this? Right? And remember I was working for it. So it’s not like someone was just giving me this and yet I felt like, wow, I’ve been given so much opportunity. I just felt so immensely grateful and I’m now realizing, right, and realized over the last few years it’s good to feel that way and think about how you can make a greater impact. How I could have reached even more people. So I do wish when I went back, if I could go back to my 20 year old self, I would say think bigger.

There’s a lot of studies that show that women don’t get as much VC funding. They actually get very little of VC funding compared to venture capital funding compared to guys. I think part of it is because women often do think smaller. They think in terms of of of succeeding, of getting something out there where guys are the ones that often go in and pitch an idea that seems absurdly crazy big and I think that’s something that women can learn. I think we can take a page out of the book for from guys. And some guys think small too, so it’s not a huge generalization, but I do think from the female entrepreneurs that I met compared to the guy entrepreneurs, they tend to stick more to lifestyle or this is my lane or wow, this is so cool and I would urge everyone to think bigger.

So if you’re watching this and in your twenties thirties forties it doesn’t really matter where you are in life right now, but definitely think bigger than what you’re thinking now. Think about how you could reach even more people, how you could scale your vision.

The second thing that I’ve learned is it is lonely at the top, but it’s only lonely at the top if it was also lonely at the bottom. And what I mean by this is so many times people feel like they’ll blame money or success for some of the downsides, right? Like, oh, but the truth is the people who’ve had those friends who had that success, were good with relationships then are able to be good with relationships now. And so I find that to be a funny thing where people say it’s lonely at the top and it can be lonely at the top if you didn’t work on yourself. Because what I think is funny about making your first million too is it’s not about the million. When you make that million, you realize it’s not actually about the number of the money, it’s much more who you became in the process. And that’s not to say that you should keep all your friends and nor to say that the friendships that you have should continue to evolve. It’s just you want to make sure that you are working on yourself as well as you work on your professional ambitions, that you are continuing to be the type of person that brings the community together, that type of person that you could look in the mirror and feel good about, feel proud of.

And I think that’s really important. I think at some point part of me was scared of success because I thought, oh man, it’s supposed to be lonely at the top. People don’t understand. And that’s not really true. I think it’s a lack of your ability to communicate, but hopefully you get better at that. As you get better, you build different relationships, different friendships, and you grow as a person, so I think that’s something that I would try to explain to my 20 year old self.

The third lesson that I’ve learned, and again, I wish I could go back and tell my 20 year old self is that fear is the killer. So many of the things that we do and more often don’t do, are a result, a direct result, of us being scared, right? And fear’s an emotion. I think everybody feels fear, but if you hold onto that fear, you become scared. And when you become scared, you let yourself get scared, you lose. You lose opportunities because you’re scared what people might think, what friends might say. I’m amazed at how many people I meet who care what strangers say. To me, I think one of the most freeing things, and one of the things I feel like I got right about my twenties is that I just didn’t care what people thought. I still don’t. Not many people’s opinion really matters to me because I’m so busy doing the things I’m doing and loving what I’m doing and I’m learning from it all the time. But fear is the killer.

I remember distinctly when I was in college, actually, this was when I was in high school. I was taking some community college courses to help get credits before I graduated high school and I had two other friends. They were the two other friends taking these classes would mean, and we all three of us, all three girls, all three of us were in a dance class. And I’ve always loved dance. I’ve never been the best dancer, but I enjoyed it. It’s one of those things where, again, I don’t care. I just do it for myself. I think it’s fun. So I took this dance class and it was an art credit for fine art credit. So I took this class and I showed up every day. Again, I wasn’t the best but I definitely showed up every day and I gave it my best. Well my two other friends didn’t exactly take the class very seriously. So they often missed out on class or they would hang out in the back. They wouldn’t show up.

Well long story short when the report cards came out, when the class ended, I found a major discrepancy. I had been given an F in the class. Oh, I’m sorry, I’d been given a C. That’s right. I got a C in the class and they both got A’s, which I thought there’s something really fishy here because I know I showed up to class a lot more and I’ve definitely made a lot more effort. And then I realized what had happened. The teacher had confused the three of us. So all three of us being brown girls, Indian, Pakistani, South Asian descent, and the teacher I figured had really just gotten confused. She’d seen three girls hanging out together couldn’t keep their names straight, whatever. And then I was convinced she had just switched our grades and I thought, if I just go to her and explain this, this should get sorted out, right? I should be able to get my grade.

So I told my friends, I said, guys, I’m going to go talk to her because clearly this isn’t right. There’s been a mistake. I shouldn’t have gotten a C. And they said, well wait a second. If you go tell her the truth, this is what’ll happen. What’ll happen is she will realize her mistake. You will get the A and then we will end up with Cs. And you know, it’s really funny because real good friends wouldn’t do that. They would never stop you from going out there and correcting a mistake in getting an A. And because I was so scared of that time and I thought, oh, I don’t want to lose these friends and I don’t want to upset them and I don’t want to hurt them. And who knows? The teacher might not even change their grades, but I was so scared I never tried.

Now, okay, so I got a C on my record now, I guess not a huge deal. I was getting it for college credit. But low and behold, a few years later, these girls were no longer my friends. We were not friends. It was one of those high school friendships that fades. I was in college, I was getting ready to graduate and I was called into my admission officer’s office and she told me, you’re fine arts credit short. And I thought, how can that be? I’d taken the fine arts class. And she said yes, but as C doesn’t transfer over.

And as you can imagine, I was livid. I was so upset that I accepted the C and it wasn’t even a fair grade and I hadn’t spoken up for myself. I’d been too scared. I’d let fear rule the day and I had to retake a class. I had to retake a class in community college all over again just to get that one credit. And it was hours of my time wasted. It wasn’t anything to do with my major and it was just to fulfill that credit, and had I actually stood up for myself, had I not been scared about what my friends would think or how it would impacted everyone, I would have gotten the A and I would have been able to keep the credit. So I would say fear is the ultimate killer. And that’s just one small example in the ways that fear can hold you back.

So the fourth lesson, the fourth lesson I’ve learned is real confidence isn’t [inaudible 00:13:01] don’t be fooled by any of these people who say fake it till you make it or pretend like you’re confident. No, I think it’s actually good to embrace not feeling confident all the time. Real confidence isn’t a given. It’s not something you’re entitled to. It’s something that you earn over time. I can tell you that when I first started speaking, for example, or doing videos or any of this, I wasn’t confident, but I didn’t pretend to be, nor did I think that I should somehow magically feel confident. I hadn’t created value yet. Now today when I’m on a stage and I’m speaking to thousands of people, I feel good. I do feel confident. Why? Because I’ve earned that confidence. I’ve shown up. I’ve shown up when I’ve been scared. I done it. I’ve done it enough times where those butterflies don’t bother me that much anymore, right? It’s really been a game changer to realize that confidence is not a given. It’s absolutely earned and it’s something you can earn too. It just takes practice and it takes overcoming those obstacles one at a time and doing it even when you’re not confident until you’ve done it enough to feel confident.

Number five, this is something that I’ve learned about relationships. This is the most important part. Just because you understand what’s wrong, the opposite of that doesn’t make it right. I’ll say that again. The opposite of what you think is wrong isn’t necessarily right. And here’s what I mean. If you’re anything like me, then chances are growing up, you saw your share of dysfunctional relationships. When you looked around, you just saw people who weren’t in great relationships. And oftentimes when you’re young, you make the connection that just because they were X, Y, and Z, if you do the opposite of that, then you will be happy.

But that’s not necessarily true. And I wish that I’d known that in my twenties. So for example when I was growing up, I often found that in a relationship where it wasn’t great, there’d be a lot of conflict, right? And the conflict would come because people would fight. Someone would say something one didn’t agree with and they argued. So to me, in my young mind, I took that and they saw the opposite and I thought so that means that conflict free relationships are good relationships. But turns out that’s not true either. See, a lot of times when you grow up seeing dysfunctional relationships, all you learn is what not to do. But it doesn’t mean it automatically teaches you what to do.

I’ll give you a small example. I adore my parents. One of the things they often argued about was having separate bank accounts. As in, my dad wanted separate bank accounts. My mom wasn’t a fan, so they always argued about this and it was a small argument. But as a child it bothered me. And so as I got older and into relationships, I decided that I was never going to have this argument and I would let my partner do it however they wanted to do it and I’d be fine with it. But the truth was I realized I wasn’t fine with it. As time went on, I realized no, there’s certain things that I feel good about and I don’t feel good about, but just because I’d seen the wrong way to do it, it doesn’t mean the opposite of was the right way to do it.

Now as I’m 35 and married and in a, knock on wood, a very happy relationship, I can look back and say part of it is because I’m able to speak my truth. I’m not scared. I’m able to say I’m comfortable with this, this feels good and this doesn’t, and it’s made a huge difference. Part of relationships I think is as you learn those lessons, you have to be comfortable in speaking up and not being scared and not being afraid to lose someone just because they might not agree with you.

Anyways, those are some of the lessons I learned guys as I celebrate my 35th birthday this Saturday. I’m wishing you were all here with me and we could celebrate, but of course times are challenging right now. Leave me a question. If there’s something that you wish that I would expand on or share, or things that you want to learn about entrepreneurship or relationships or friendships or whatever it is. I’m happy to help answer. I’m hoping that you guys are enjoying these videos and if you are subscribed, stay in touch. I look forward to reading all your comments. Bye.