Shama Hyder:

Hey everybody. It’s Shama Hyder here and I’m joined by my dog, so he might be in and out of this video.

Shama Hyder:

This is Koda Bear, he has interrupted our filming. Ow, Koda. Koda is a Samoyed puppy. They’re also called Sammies and he is 10 weeks old. Say hi. Say hi, Koda. Why are you interrupting mommy? Mommy’s trying to film. Mommy’s trying to film, that’s right. Hello.

Shama Hyder:

Can you wave a paw, good boy? Ow, that hurts. Ouch. Owie, owie. Puppy kisses.

Shama Hyder:

Let’s talk about advice. That’s right, the importance of asking for advice, but more importantly, how important it is to get your advice from the right sources. So, last week I was talking to a young woman who started her business recently, and she’s found that her mom has had a lot of advice to give her. I talked to her and I said, “Well, does your mom run a business?” She said, “No, my mom’s been an employee, she’s rather risk-averse. My mom’s very happy, she has lots of hobbies, but she’s never been entrepreneurial.” Nothing wrong with that, great.

Shama Hyder:

As I’m talking to her, I asked her, “What are your other hobbies?” She said, “Well, I love to bake,” which is great. I got to talking with her and she said this was another passion she shared with her mother. She also told me, along the conversations we’re having, that she was very close to her father as well. I asked her, “Is your dad a baker?” She said, “No, he doesn’t bake at all. He has zero interest in being in the kitchen or baking.” I said, “Okay, well, that’s interesting.”

Shama Hyder:

Then I said, “Let me ask you something. Do you ever bake and do you ever run across a substitution question?” We’ve all been there. Can you substitute baking powder for something else? Or do I really need this to be unsweetened or can I use bittersweet chocolate? So when you’re baking or you’re cooking, oftentimes these questions come up and I said, “Well, so then you obviously called your dad, right, for advice.” She said, “Oh, well, I would never do that. My dad doesn’t know anything about baking, he’s never baked, so he couldn’t possibly help me, even if he wanted to.”

Shama Hyder:

Huh? Well, let’s think about that for a second. This is what I put forth out to her. If you wouldn’t go to your dad with a baking question because he is not a baker, why would you then go to your mom with entrepreneurial questions when she’s not a business owner or entrepreneur? Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with getting feedback or opinions if you enjoy that. If you want to use people that you’re close to and you like bouncing ideas off of folks, great. But just know that when you ask for advice from people, they are going to give you advice from their own lens, right? Everyone has their own unique lens of looking at the world.

Shama Hyder:

If you ask advice from someone who has never owned a business, who’s never operated a business, whose paradigm is one of safety and security, again, nothing wrong with that, but that’s their paradigm. They prioritize safety and security over many other things. That isn’t ideal for when you are starting a business, what you really want is advice from someone who’s been there, done that, right?

Shama Hyder:

It’s nice, I think, sometimes to get advice where we feel like … two things happen when you’re asking for advice. One, you often go to your closest source. So oftentimes that happens to be family or friends, and so we turn to them because we feel a certain comfort level and we say, “Hey, you’re close.” It’s proximity. So we often gather advice through proximity, which is perfectly fine for something mundane, right? Like, “Hey, which restaurant should I check out?” If you’re not really a foodie and not looking for the best, you might just turn to your closest friend or a person in your community and ask someone you’re comfortable with.

Shama Hyder:

Two, what happens is we often ask for advice from people that we feel know us best, right? So, it is more personalization. So, well, knowing me, do you think I would do well at X, Y, Z or knowing me, do you think I would enjoy this? Now that’s not such a bad thing, because it lets someone weigh in, someone who might have outside perspective, right? Has a real good sense, maybe known you from when you were a kid or friends who have … that’s when you turn to your friend and say, “Should I be dating this person?” They say, “Oh, it’s a terrible idea, that’s not a great fit for you.” Whatever it may be.

Shama Hyder:

So, often we do advice in two ways. We either do proximity, whoever’s closest, or we look for people that we feel comfortable with or we feel like maybe they know us a little bit, maybe they have a little bit of history that can help guide our decisions. But here’s what I want to tell you. This is the lazy way to get advice, okay? Don’t get advice from people who haven’t been there and done that. This is the simplest thing I can tell you.

Shama Hyder:

When I’m looking at a new Apple device, when I’m looking at what iPhone I should get or what laptop I should upgrade to, I don’t just ask anybody, I go to my friend who I know loves Apple, who keeps up with all the hardware, all the technology, the friend that knows, right, which lens is going to be great, who can really speak to the specs.

Shama Hyder:

Now, I assume that he already has some sense of me. So he knows what I do for a living, he knows I used a laptop for work, I’m not a big gamer or whatever it may be. So you can still have the personalization aspect, but it’s much more important to ask for advice from people who know what they’re talking about and have done what you want to do. Absolutely crucial.

Shama Hyder:

The other day I was talking to someone who was weighing whether they should go to college or not. I thought, “Well, that’s interesting.” I said, “Well, how have you been figuring this out? How have you been deciding?” He said, “Well, I’ve been talking to a lot of people in my family,” and I said, “Oh, okay, that’s neat. Where have they gone the school?” He said, “Well, most of my family hasn’t gone to college.” I said, “Okay.” He said, “I’m asking them and they seemed to have done okay without it.”

Shama Hyder:

Now again, I’m not saying that you should go to college or shouldn’t, it’s a very personal decision. But you can’t really make that decision until you’ve spoken to people who’ve been to college, who have not been to college. That’s where you can get a really good sense and overview, right, in academia, in any type of research, you want a big enough sample size.

Shama Hyder:

So when you’re making certain decisions, a good sample size is important. Getting multiple people’s perspective, and then you’re the lens that decides what’s best for you. But if you only have one group of people and they all share a narrative, it becomes even more challenging. So next time you want advice and you’re really tempted to ask your cousin or your friend or your parents, because you think they know you best or really it’s because they’re close by, it’s the proximity error. Step back and think about who could you be asking that really knows, right, that’s been there, done that?

Shama Hyder:

If you’re looking to create a company and you’re looking to hire, you don’t want to ask someone who’s never hired before, you want to ask people who’ve done hiring, who’ve learned from their mistakes. If you are looking to run a marketing campaign, don’t talk to someone who’s never executed a marketing campaign before. You want to talk to someone who really understands what it takes to drive visibility, what it’s like, which tactics to use. Very important that you find someone in that vertical with that given expertise when you’re looking for advice.

Shama Hyder:

So that is my advice to you, I hope you enjoyed it. If you have questions, leave them in the comments, I’d love to answer. Advice I know is a tricky thing and we all feel like we want to get advice from the people we love. The other side to that of course, is one of the things I tend not to do, except in this type of forum, which is give unsolicited advice. In fact, most of the questions I answer here come from clients asking me questions or young people that I mentor, or things that I see that I want to address on a bigger level.

Shama Hyder:

It’s very important that when someone comes to you, that you’re not giving them unsolicited advice either, or when someone does come to me, I always tend to say it and phrase it this way, say, “Listen, I may be wrong.” A little bit of humility goes a long way. I don’t have all the answers, but in my humble experience of however many years or having run thousands of marketing campaigns, here’s what I can tell you for sure. So it works both ways.

Shama Hyder:

Hope you enjoyed this piece of advice. Leave a comment, definitely catch more of my videos. I hope you enjoyed them. Subscribe to the channel, and if you’re really feeling generous, tell a friend. Until next time.