Dear Online Marketing,
I don’t quite know how to say this, but I’ve felt this way for a pretty long time now, so I guess I’ll just come right out and tell you… I love you.
My parents think I’m crazy to fall for a marketing method like you. They would have been much happier if I’d started going out with a TV commercial, or even a magazine ad.
But nothing on TV or in print compares with you.
You’ve got everything that they have and more! So what if TV commercials can be cool sometimes…you’ve got YouTube! And any online content worth its salt beats a print ad, hands down. You’re so hot – all the offline marketers are totally jealous of us. Have you noticed they keep trying to get a piece of what we’ve got going on? Whatever. You’re mine.
I had a dream about you the other night. We were walking on the beach together, mouse in hand, and you told me that you wanted us to spend our lives together, to be connected all the time.
You wanted to go everywhere I did, and cater to my every whim. (Ha! What TV commercial would ever say that to a girl, Mom?) You even wanted to be friends with my friends, so I could be with you all the time but still have a social life, too! I was so swept away that I looked deep into your screen, and… Well, let’s just say you were playing a clip of a romantic scene on YouTube, and leave it at that. A girl’s gotta keep some things to herself!
When I woke up, though, do you know what I realized? You already do all that for me, and more.
When I’m down, you lift my spirits with a funny comment or a silly game. Any time I have a question, on any subject, you point the way to helpful content that someone has posted online. And you have this amazing effect on other people, too – you inspire them to give so generously of their time and expertise.
And talk about making a difference in the world! You’re so philanthropic that you let anyone, anywhere, post whatever they want, for free! You give tiny businesses just starting out the same tools as huge corporations.
You make it possible for people halfway across the world to connect and share their talents and prosperity with others who need them. You provide the platform for communities to form that would never have been possible without you.
Plus, you’re so funny and creative.
I love the memes you make when you’re having dinner at my parents’ house with me. They never get them, but I think they’re hilarious. Don’t worry, they’ll catch on eventually.
Of course, our relationship hasn’t been all rainbows and lollipops. I mean, whenever you get all wrapped up in another one of Google’s crazy algorithm changes, things get a little rocky between us for a while. But on the whole, I think our relationship is pretty solid.
So, I guess what it all boils down to is that I love you, Online Marketing, and I’m yours forever. Will you be mine?
Happy Valentine’s Day.